A Word for Living Together

Convivir • (kon-bi-bir) • verb

Definition: Live Together

Origin: Spanish “con-” meaning “with” or “together” and “vivir” meaning “live”

Earlier this year when I was talking with a Mexican friend of mine about words, language, and culture, she asked me if I knew about convivir. I had never heard the word, but I could tell that it had something to do with living or living with. 

My friend Mariana then told me how convivir was the Mexican equivalent of “hanging out.” In Mexico City, if you want to hang out, grab drinks, or socialize with your friends you say convivir. The distinction between convivir and its American English equivalents is subtle but profound.

Think about how differently you would treat people if every time you decided to socialize with friends you said, “Let’s live together.”

No longer would you say the vague and meaningless “hang out,” and instead you would say something with purpose and a clear meaning that also speaks to the need of forming bonds and cultivating friendships. An empty phrase has been replaced by one that is full of life.

Imagine that it’s the end of an arduous workday, and instead of your equally exhausted co-worker saying, “Let’s grab drinks,” he says, “Let’s go live together.” Clearly, in English, the latter request may be perceived with romantic or intimate implications, but this stigma actually speaks to the greater problem. We live in a society shaped by ethnocidal division, so equitably living together has never been the norm of our society, and our language literally speaks to our unliving, unloving division.

By saying convivir the emphasis also is not on what you are doing, but on what you are being as you live together. The emphasis is on being yourself and living alongside others, and not engaging in a certain action to gain acceptance. The word cares less about what you do and emphasizes who you are.

Since the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, I have been thinking a lot about convivir. We are stuck in our homes and unable to physically interact with others. We cannot live together as we used to, but our awareness of our inter-connectedness has increased dramatically. We are not living together now so that we can live together in the future, and as we self-isolate ourselves we turn to social media and video chats to find signs of life. 

Also, when I hear politicians and other Americans dismiss the severity of COVID-19, it is obvious that they have no desire to live with others. They want to focus on the economy ahead of a pandemic, but this perspective exists because they are so separated from life and living together that they believe that a deadly contagion could not reach them. Their misguided actions derive from aspiring to live apart and not together.

During this difficult time, I believe that it is incredibly important to think about convivir as we engage in social distancing. It will remind us that we are together while we are apart, and help us to improve how we live together in the future.

For this week, please take some time to think about what convivir means to you, and share your thoughts with us via email, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter using #TheWord to join the conversation.